Thursday, June 25, 2009

From trials to toots

My unsolicited advice for the day: don't get too big for your britches. You never know where life will take you.

Tonight I found myself, as I do many nights, bathing two children while the third was sitting on the potty. As usual, all three events reached a crisis point at the same time.

Lauren screaming through sobs: "Mommy, I got pee-pee on my legs!!! Moooooooooommy!!"

Ethan crying in the fire engine wailing decibel that only he can reach: "Mommy, it's in my eyes! I got soap in my eyes!".

Josh: Mom, I need to toot. (our word for passing gas)

Me, dripping with sweat from trying to rinse out Ethan's eyes while wiping pee off Lauren's legs in our house that does not have air conditioning
: So toot.

Josh: Not in my bath water; that's gross!

Me: If you have to toot, then toot in the bath. It's fine. Everyone does it.

Josh: You don't. You've never tooted in your bath.

Me: Yes, Josh, I've tooted in my bath.

See what my life has become? At some point, seemingly a lifetime ago, I wore power suits and studied case law and debated legal nuances. I imagined that when I was in my 30's I would be arguing to judges and juries about constitutional rights or perhaps persuading my fellow citizens to cast their votes for me and send me to Washington.

But, no. I'm confessing to my six year-old son that I toot in the bathtub.

Like I said, don't get too big for your britches.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think you should write a book, your blog is hysterical!

Lenae said...

This was definitely hilarious. And don't feel too bad; without making a blatant admission, some of us readers might toot in our baths too sometimes ;)

Olivia Taryn's Blog! said...

Thanks so much for the laugh! This week has been crazy but i can always come here and get a laugh and a little piece about being a great mom! Hope all is well!

JMom said...

I love this!!!