Everyone needs a hobby

While driving in the van the other day I noticed Joshua reading his Picture Bible again. I mentioned that he was becoming a really good reader.

Me: Josh, you're gonna be a reader like me, aren't you? I love to sit and read a good book.

Lauren: Mommy, I love to sit and eat chocolate.

Happy 4th of July

We had a great picnic at the park across the street yesterday. We had intended to go to a lake about an hour away, but once someone mentioned the idea of just going across the street, we were all enamored with thoughts of not spending 2 hours in the car. Since there is a creek that runs right next to the park, the kids did not have to give up their plans of playing in the water (despite yesterday's high of 70 degrees).

Lauren and Grandma at the park:



"Helping" Granddad with the grill:



Hmm, how does this thing work?



I got you some more sticks, Granddad!



Waiting for the food:



Josh and Grandma played cards while they waited



Can you tell I got into the cherries?



Mmm, good hot dog . . . no hands required!



There are a couple of families of ducks living in our creek:



Ethan and Grandma tried to count them:



Feeding them was more fun



Ethan playing in the creek:



Can you think of a better way to spend an afternoon when you're six years old:

7 Quick Takes Friday

1.

The boys have been going to a story/craft time at the library the past couple of weeks. This week I saw their personalities in full force as they were given markers to decorate paper plates that they would make into tambourines.

I looked over at them after a couple of minutes. Josh was decorating fiercely. Ethan was sniffing the markers.

2.

I've mentioned that I love how it takes about 2 minutes to get everywhere in this town, sometimes less. It's 90 seconds to David's office, the gym, and the grocery store. It's 2.5 minutes to Rite Aid and Dollar General, almost 4 minutes to church.

I love this. It's time-saving, and I rarely need gas.

However, there is a down-side. I have been listening to the same song in my car for a month because I am never in the car long enough for it to end.

3.

File under rules I didn't think to establish ahead of time:

Don't run laps around the dinner table.
Don't create a dinoland on the toilet lid in my bathroom.
Don't build a beaver dam on the front porch.

4.

Joshua has been dressing up as Indiana Jones all week. He uses his belt as a whip (and can't seem to understand that it's not "accidental" when you swing a belt around near people and they get hurt!) and runs around looking for bad guys to save us from. He was disappointed to learn that there are no ninjas in the movies (he's only seen Indy on the Leggos games website), so he made Ethan one anyway.

5.

Grandmom and Granddad are back for 4th of July weekend. That means I smell french toast and bacon being cooked in the kitchen. The kids begin asking for it the moment Granddad arrives.

6.

The kids and I are going to Georgia in less than two weeks for my cousin's wedding. I am looking forward to many things: seeing my family, swimming in HOT weather, going to a restaurant or two (I've been to, count 'em - ONE - since we moved here in May.), shopping somewhere other than Dollar General, etc.

Other than seeing my family, though, I think the thing I am looking forward to the most is attending my home church. (I can't bring myself to say "former!")

We attend a wonderful church here. David's uncle is the pastor, and he's related to half the people there. The love is palpable, and there is no question that the spirit of God is present among the people.

But the music.

Think TBN: very gospel-y sound, lots of organ, songs written in the 1960's. (There were plenty of good songs written in the 1960's, I'm sure, but these are not they.)

I am realizing how important music is to worship. It has always been my favorite part, nourishing my spirit, comforting, exciting, encouraging. Music is emotional and connects us to worship in a way that teaching (while of paramount importance) does not.

Obviously, I don't mean that the music here is wrong. It's just not my taste. And, sometimes something can be so contrary to one's taste that it's difficult to feel moved. As a result, I am simply hungry. And, I look forward to being at St. Andrew's for a couple of weeks soon.

Perhaps I could put in a few special requests?

7.

Speaking of music, my kids fancy themselves rock stars lately. Whenever a fast-paced song comes on my ipod, they grab their instruments, put on their fierce faces, and begin to rock.

Small town movie theater

What I like:

Fourteen dollars. That's how much it cost me to buy the following: 3 small popcorns, 4 small sodas, 3 candy bars, and a tootsie roll pop. I was hungry. At Carmike it would have cost $14 for just the candy bars! This is good for my wallet and my credibility as a parent. (quicktake #2)

The bathrooms. A men's and a women's - one facility each - right in the back of the theater. I can take one of my kids to the restroom and still see the others in their seats when I'm standing outside the bathroom door. Plus, I don't miss any of the movie while I'm standing in line, which means I can drink all the super-cheap soda I want since I won't miss much when I have to go pee.

I'm thinking of putting a commode in my living room so I can utilize this technique during Untold Stories of the E.R. marathons on TLC.

What I don't like:

Zero previews. Seriously, who knew previews were optional?! David thinks this should go on the pro's list, but honestly, I love the previews. I like the music and the montages and the cheesy narration and the racking-my-brain-through-the-entire-movie-I-came-to-see-trying-to-figure-out-who-that-actor-in-the-preview-was.

Plus, no commercials means you have to be on time, and that is never good for me.

One screen. Open for one showing Monday-Friday at 7:30. While this does make it easy to find your theater, it is date-night-prohibitive when the offerings for three consecutive weekends go something like this: Obsessed followed by Drag Me to Hell (not a documentary about my move to Pennsylvania . . . I jest!!!) followed by Dance Flick.

It makes one wonder if a truly worthwhile film like Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen will EVER get here.

Apparently, I need to raise my expectations

Joshua: Mommy, what does a shoe mean?

Me: A shoe? Like you wear?

Joshua: No, it's one word. Ashoe.

Me: Ashoe is not a word.

Joshua: Yeah, it is. Like if you "ashoe chocolate."

Me: Eschew? Where did you hear that?

Joshua: On Larry Boy and the Bad Apple. Does it mean you don't want something?

Me: Yes, it sort of does. Sorry for doubting you.

Lauren and Bella

Lauren's best friend (and cousin) Isabella spent the afternoon over here recently. These two can't be together five minutes without busting out the dress-up clothes. They are such girls, spending twenty minutes deciding what outfit to put on and then changing their minds ten times.





They played a rousing game of hide-n-seek wherein they hid from Grandma by - what else? - closing their eyes.



When that didn't work, they picked a slightly tougher hiding spot:



And were shocked and delighted when Grandma found them.

From trials to toots

My unsolicited advice for the day: don't get too big for your britches. You never know where life will take you.

Tonight I found myself, as I do many nights, bathing two children while the third was sitting on the potty. As usual, all three events reached a crisis point at the same time.

Lauren screaming through sobs: "Mommy, I got pee-pee on my legs!!! Moooooooooommy!!"

Ethan crying in the fire engine wailing decibel that only he can reach: "Mommy, it's in my eyes! I got soap in my eyes!".

Josh: Mom, I need to toot. (our word for passing gas)

Me, dripping with sweat from trying to rinse out Ethan's eyes while wiping pee off Lauren's legs in our house that does not have air conditioning: So toot.

Josh: Not in my bath water; that's gross!

Me: If you have to toot, then toot in the bath. It's fine. Everyone does it.

Josh: You don't. You've never tooted in your bath.

Me: Yes, Josh, I've tooted in my bath.

See what my life has become? At some point, seemingly a lifetime ago, I wore power suits and studied case law and debated legal nuances. I imagined that when I was in my 30's I would be arguing to judges and juries about constitutional rights or perhaps persuading my fellow citizens to cast their votes for me and send me to Washington.

But, no. I'm confessing to my six year-old son that I toot in the bathtub.

Like I said, don't get too big for your britches.

Happy birthday, Ethan!

We started the day with chocolate chip Mickey Mouse pancakes (topped with whipped cream and sprinkles). Next up: story time at the library, an afternoon of swimming, and tacos for dinner. I love you, buddy!

Ethan's birthday party

After just 15 hours (literally) of preparation in the kitchen yesterday, we had Ethan's dinosaur-themed birthday party today.

The dinosaur footprints leading to the house. I thought they looked more like tulips than T-rex prints, but the kids like them.



The menu: two types of chicken salad sandwiches on homemade rolls, dino-shaped peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, chips and homemade dip, chocolate-covered strawberries, and two dinosaur cakes. And ice cream, of course.



Dino cake #1 turned out quite cute. Though Joshua tells me that brachiosauruses didn't have spots. I said, yeah, and they weren't made out of sugar either; use your imagination, kid. Then he told me what a great mom I am. Yeah.



Dino cake number 2 did not turn out so well. It looked more like a cross between a dragon and a sick puppy. Even sicker if you could see that one of his back legs is orange because I ran out of blue frosting. (I had tinted a little bit orange intending to give him spots, but I had to use it for his leg!)



Birthday boy and his cake.



Evan, Jack, Ethan, and Joshua



The kids enjoying their cake and ice cream on the front porch because it started raining. Again.



Opening his gifts.



These dinosaur masks were party favors. They came fully assembled with the strings attached and everything. A great find on Amazon.com. (I also put a bag of dino-shaped gummy snacks in each bag, and they took home all of the little sticky plastic dinosaurs they found in the dino-hunt game.)



Happy dinosaurs.

7 Quick Takes Friday

1.

I tell Lauren that she's pretty a lot. I can't help it; she's my only girl. Of course, I also tell her that she's beautiful because of what's on the inside, how God made her special, and it's kindness and love that make a person truly beautiful.

I think now I need to start emphasizing humility a little more. Yesterday she came up to me and very seriously asked, "Mommy, why am I so much prettier than Ethan and Josh?"

2.

"Aw, shucks!"

This is Joshua's newest favorite phrase. He purposely asks me for things he knows I will so no to - like having ice cream for breakfast - just so that he can say, "Aw, shucks!" afterward.

It was cute at first, and I laughed about it, but now it's getting a little old. Yesterday I said, "Okay, Josh, enough with the 'aw, shucks.'" He said, "I thought you thought it was funny." I explained that I did, but that after awhile something that was funny can start to get annoying. "You know how sometimes something is funny but then you get tired of it?" I asked to my six year-old son who would watch Kung Fu Panda twenty times a day if I let him and who thinks underarm toots are the most hilarious sound in the world. No, he said, he does not know.

3.

Ethan is going to make me insane. Seriously insane. I know that all younger siblings like to copy their older counterparts. Copying is normal. It is natural. That does not make it any less freaking annoying. It's become as though he doesn't have a single thought in his head that is his own, and because I know that he is a smart kid, it is making me crazy.

Morning:
Me: Ethan, what would you like for breakfast?
Ethan: What is Josh having?
Me: He's having pickled pigs ears.
Ethan: I want pickled pigs ears.

Afternoon:
Josh: I have to go to the bathroom.
Ethan (a split-second later): I have to go to the bathroom.
Me: pee or poop?
Ethan: pee
Josh: poop
Ethan: I mean, poop

Seriously, you can make yourself poop just to copy your brother? What are you??!!

Evening:
Josh: Mom, I'm cold.
Ethan: And me.
Josh: You're just copying me
Ethan: Am not
Josh: Actually, I'm hot. May I take off my shirt?
Ethan: And me.

All. day. long.

4.

Am I the only one who doesn't understand the point of 2-ply toilet paper? Don't you use just as much paper whether you use a short length of 2-ply or a long length of 1-ply? I can't see why 2-ply paper was ever invented. If it was too thin, why not just make it thicker? Am I missing something here?

It's the important things in life that really bother me.

5.

Joshua loves to wash dishes. He begs me not to put them in the dishwasher because he wants to wash them. Far be it from me to discourage a child from doing something helpful and productive.



To my future daughter-in-law, whoever you may be: You're welcome.

6.

Tomorrow is Ethan's birthday party. I should be cleaning the house. Or working in the yard. Or making the cake. Or shopping for the rest of the food. Or wrapping his gifts.

But, I'm tired, and the list is so long. Instead I'll procrastinate and wait until I reach the Oh-my-God-the-birthday-party-is-in-a-few-hours-and-the-bathroom-smells-like-pee-and-I-have-to-make-food-so-could-everyone-please-shut-up-and-leave-me-the-heck-alone level of panic. That's when I work best.

7.

You know the best way to get your kids to play with their toys and share nicely? Put said toys in a giveaway box.

While cleaning the playroom a couple of weeks ago, I filled three huge boxes with toys to give away. Of course, those are instantly their favorite toys which they cherish more than anything in the whole world and that have been looooking for and without which they simply cannot live. So, this morning since I wanted to blog need to get the house cleaned for the party, I agreed to let them each take one thing from the giveaway boxes to play with. They have been playing upstairs with said toys for almost an hour.

Must remember this tactic.

Is it me?

I'm thinking of moving back to Georgia.

Don't worry; I won't stay. I just really need a project done in the master bathroom, and it appears that my living here is keeping it from happening.

David lived alone in this house for a few weeks before the kids and I came up. During that time, he managed to refinish our dresser, stain the stairs, take down trim I didn't like in the living room, put together a massive wooden swingset . . . and the list goes on. Mind you, this is not the person I knew before we moved. David has always been much more of a project-starter than a project-finisher. But, somehow when he was here alone, he managed to complete project after project without my even asking him.

And, yes, I have tried the "don't ask" approach; it's not working. It seems that my mere presence in the house precludes him from completing projects that were on my "Get done ASAP" list the week I moved in.

They're not little trivial things either. The two most important ones - and the only ones I would move back to Georgia to get done - are 1.) install smoke detectors and 2.) make the glass in giant round window above our bathtub NOT be see-through.

See, not minor things?

Lest you think that I, too, am okay with having our children sleeping in a 100 year-old house that could burst into flames at any moment, I have put batteries in the detectors. (To David's credit, he did go out and purchase the detectors . . . four weeks ago.) So now they are sitting on bookshelves and countertops waiting to be hung.

And then there's the window. Why anyone would put a HUGE window right next to their bathtub is beyond me. I assume most people don't want random folks on the street to seem them naked. Maybe that's just me. Plus, have they not seen the Seinfeld episode about good naked and bad naked? Even if one did want to provide a voyeuristic view for the neighbors, letting them see you in the buff as you climb in and out of a giant tub is really not the best way to go.

David did try one method of fixing it shortly after I arrived. He bought some sort of spray on stuff that people use at Christmas to make the glass look frosted. He sprayed it on, and that night he went outside to see if it kept him from being able to see into the fully lit bathroom. He said it worked - couldn't see a thing.

I was skeptical because I could see perfectly fine out of the window. He said, "I promise. I just stood in the street and looked. It worked." Not convinced, I got David's mom to stand in the tub while I went in the street and looked up. I could see EVERYTHING clear as day. Seeing his obvious shock and believing that he wasn't lying in an attempt to give the neighbor's a free peepshow every evening, a thought occurred to me. "Honey, were you wearing your glasses?" "Um, no."

That was over three weeks ago. I still have to get in and out of the tub like a hunchback at night to avoid flashing my neighbors. Either that or get out of the tub, dry off, and get dressed in the dark to avoid illuminating the bathroom, but considering how klutzy I am in broad daylight, darkness and movement is never a good combination for me.

So, the only thing I can figure that's different now from a month ago when my husband turned into Mr. Industrious is my presence. In the interest of protecting my children and my dignity (I heard that snicker), I must go back to Georgia. But, maybe I'll wait until winter.

Great expectations

Joshua got really excited when he saw the pumpkin seeds David bought for him yesterday. I thought it was just because he loves to plant things, but then he asked, "Mom, are they gonna grow like that?!"

The first frigid swim

Today's high: 73 degrees
Last night's low: 47 degrees

In Georgia, this would be early-March weather, and I would never agree to let my kids swim. Here, however, this is apparently mid-June weather, and the kids are out in full force at the town pool. Agreeing with "the locals" that it was a hot summer day, my kids begged to go swimming today.

They lasted approximately 35 minutes before admitting, through teeth chattering so hard I was afraid they might break, that it was too cold. When we got home, Joshua spent half an hour with a blanket wrapped around him . . . though he does have a flair for the dramatic.

7 Quick Takes Friday

1.

We had some nice weather this week. This morning it's 58 degrees again, but for a few afternoons this week, it was in the 70's. So what did everyone do? Headed to the pool, of course.

Well, everyone except us, that is. I decided to let the kids splash in the creek at the park, which is right down the street from our house. (It's actually the Allegheny River, but it's just a really big creek at this particular point.) They've been dying to get in it since they saw some kids in there a couple of weeks ago. Why not, I thought. They can splash around and get wet, but it will not be the big production of bathing suits, floaties, sunscreen, and everything else that accompanies going to the swimming pool . . . which I figured they'd stay in for about three minutes since it was only 72 degrees outside!

They did indeed have a great time. At one point Joshua mentioned that it smelled bad in one particular area, so I told him to stay in a different part. A little while later, he was wading past that spot again and said, "No wonder it stinks, mom . . . there's a dead possum in here!"

Maybe the pool wouldn't have been such a bad idea after all.

2.

The neighborhood kids have taken up residence here. At any given point in an afternoon, I look out the window and see anywhere from 3-8 extra kids in our yard.

3.

When asked what kind of sandwich she wanted for lunch, Lauren said "Turkey with spicy cheese and mustard." A few minutes later, she saw me cutting up some banana for Josh's peanut butter sandwich and asked if she could have some banana on her sandwich, too. I told her that banana would probably not taste good on a turkey sandwich but that she could have peanut butter and banana instead of turkey if she wanted. Indignantly, she replied, "No, mommy, I'm just waiting for what I already ordered."

4.

David and Jason took the boys fishing last weekend, and apparently they stopped for some beef jerky on the way out of town. Today when I ran into a different grocery store than normal, Josh said, "This is where they sell beef jerky! Can we get some pleeeeeeeease?"

So, here are my boys enjoying some beef jerky and coke on the front steps. Aah, childhood.

5.

Of course, the coke has already been spilled on the kitchen floor. Why I ever let Ethan have anything other than water is beyond me. While I'm on my hands and knees wiping the floor with a wet rag (because it appears I would rather do anything than actually mop), he comes in and says, "Mom, I need you to wipe my nose."
"Um, why don't you wipe your own nose?"
"Because my hands are full." (of beef jerky and a cup that is now empty)
"Put your cup down and go wipe your nose."
"Why don't you want to wipe my nose?"

It's moments like these that remind me that I, too, once did not think of my parents as real, live human beings. They were, you know, parents. Why would they want to do anything besides wipe someone's nose?

6.

So, my bid for the position as Assistant Commonwealth Attorney has been considered and rejected. Yeah, rejected.

David's partner just got elected Commonwealth Attorney for the county we live in, and he and David had planned to make David his assistant. We got the idea a while back that it would be great for me to do it instead since it's a part-time position, I have experience in criminal law, and with two kids in school in the Fall, I wouldn't mind getting back to work part-time.

Apparently, however, he wants to "keep his promise" to the voters, having told some of them that he would be making David his assistant. That and David has prosecutorial experience. And he's actively licensed in Pennsylvania. You know, he's just full of silly trumped-up reasons like that.

Oh well, David says he'll make me his partner come fall when the kids are in school, and he'll have an empty office anyway when his current partner leaves. Given my apparent lack of credentials, I think people are going to suspect I just slept my way to the top. Because, you know, I don't have time to take a continuing legal ed class from time to time, but I have time to do that.

7.

David's uncles know how to work their way into a kid's heart. We have Hershey's chocolate bars and/or a watermelon delivered to our house on a regular basis by two of his uncles. The kids may not know many people in the family, but they are quite fond of those two!

Joshua's first book

Joshua spent the entire afternoon writing a book. He says it's going to be a chapter book. Here is page 1 . . . the words are entirely his, but I helped with the spelling.






Here's what it says:

Once upon a time there were some pirates and they were mean pirates and they were off to find the treasure. But they caught sight of something. It was scallywags and they came on board. Aargh you mateys. Fire 1 Fire 2 fire 3 Good job mateys. Land ahoy! This is the wrong beach. Sailaway mateys. We are at sea. Oh no. They are chasing us again. Fire! We are out of cannons. Drat! Get your weapons. Attack! Capture her.

Hate to leave you hanging, but you'll have to tune in again for page 2. :)