Wednesday, March 28, 2012


My kids have been taking a few dollars to school lately to buy rubber wristbands with the school slogan on them. Ethan bought a few last week, and unbeknownst to me, took another $10 to school today and purchased TEN more. When he told me about it this afternoon, I was a little perturbed at him. "Ethan," I scolded, "Spending one or two dollars on those is okay, but you may NOT take ten dollars to school to buy junk without my permission . . . do you understand?" "Yes, but, mom, the money goes to help kids with cancer." Oh.

Josh came tearing into my room last night right after he got in bed, hollering that something in his bed had bitten him. Sure enough, I could see a small red dot with a bite mark in the center. After only two or three minutes, the redness had spread to the diameter of a golf, and the whole thing was very swollen. I searched his bed but couldn't find the culprit, so being the sensible mom that I am, I promptly sent everyone out of the room lest the vicious creature strike again. Ethan slept in Lauren's room, and Josh slept in ours. And I closed the door to the boys' room so, you know, it wouldn't wander into any other beds. The bright side is the boys have fresh clean linens on their beds today.

Sometimes I think Matt Lauer wears glasses just to look smart. I don't know why I suspect he doesn't really need them; I just do.

I loved the Hunger Games books and highly recommend reading them before seeing the movie. It leaves out soooo much. (This snippet brought to you by the fact that I just hear Ryan Seacrest say to the American Idol contestants, "May the odds be ever in your favor." Seriously.)

The boys are downstairs wrestling with David as I'm typing this, and about a minute ago my phone rang. It was Joshua screaming and laughing into the phone, "Momma, come save me . . . Daddy's got us!!" Sometimes I regret the day that kid learned my cell number.

I do stupid stuff all the time. Yesterday was no exception. I left the house to drop David's car off at the shop, and I was a couple blocks from home when I realized I was driving mine.

I am on a crunchy peanut butter and jelly sandwich kick. I don't know why anyone would eat creamy peanut butter when they could have crunchy. It makes no sense.

Speaking of things to eat, I make these smoothies several times a week. The kids and I love them. This morning I poured the leftover (which existed only because I made mine after the kids were gone to school) into popsicle molds. The kids loved them as popsicles tonight! Here's what I use:

A little orange juice, a little carrot juice, a banana, some frozen pineapple (I drain a can and freeze the pieces), frozen peaches, frozen strawberries, a kiwi, and some spinach. Delicious.

There was no real need for the photos above. I just thought I'd share them because I apparently fancy myself a chef. Or a food photographer. Because that last picture looks so appetizing, right?

My moms coming to visit soon! And bringing two of my nieces! I haven't seen my mom since Christmas, so I'm very excited. I just wish my dad loved me enough to come visit me, too.

(In case you don't know my dad, that last sentence was not sincere. He loves me. I guess it's just that he doesn't want to see his grandkids or something.)

For the record, this is how happy his granddaughter would be to see him:

Friday, March 2, 2012

Seven Quick Takes Friday

Quick Takes, though I still don't have the little linky picture on my laptop, and I'm still too lazy to obtain it right now:


I do not envy full-time working mothers. I worked until 6:00 pm the past two nights, and I feel like the whole darn system is crashing down around me. (Which is pretty funny if you know me, because the "system" is rather precarious as it is.) But now . . . the laundry! The dishes! The homework! Oh my!

Today's late work day was not planned. I ordinarily leave woLinkrk a few minutes before 3:00 so I can be home when the kids' bus gets here. Today, however, I got hired at 2:30 - just as I was about to leave - to represent someone at a 9 am hearing tomorrow. Obviously, I needed to stay and do some preparation, and since I couldn't find a last minute sitter easily, I said to David on a whim, "Wanna go home early today?" He never leaves work that early and usually has appointments until late afternoon. But to my surprise and delight, he said sure! Sometimes it's really nice to be law partners with one's spouse.


As he was leaving, we had the following conversation:

Me: Feel free to run to the grocery store and make some dinner while you're at it.
David: Sure, I'll put that on my to-do list. It will be somewhere between right now and hell freezing over.
Me: No, I'm pretty sure hell will freeze over first.

**I should note that my husband is not the jerk that this conversation may imply. He's wonderful. He just can't cook. He really can't cook.


Speaking of David and work, he has been putting together some short videos for our firm's website. To that end, he has turned our office workroom into a film studio complete with six giant photography lights, a big white backdrop, a microphone system, and a tripod. (If you know David, you know he never does anything halfway.)

His goal is to create dozens of 2 minute videos where he or I talk about different legal topics to help drive traffic to our website. He has made quite a few already, but I have heretofore insisted that I would not appear on camera until I shed this last pesky pound or forty. He finally talked me into doing one last week. BIG MISTAKE. (Pun intended) That whole "camera adds 10 pounds" thing? It's a total lie. It doesn't add; it multiplies!


In his research on ways to increase business, he came across the suggestion of having a firm newsletter. Apparently, the ideal law firm newsletter contains only 20% law related information; the rest is information that may be of interest or entertainment to anyone reading the newsletter, whether they have a legal need or not.

This sparked what I thought was a brilliant idea. Like many ideas I've had in our dozen years together, though, its brilliance was not unanimously agreed upon. So, I ask you: would you love to read a humor column in your law firm's monthly newsletter?

I've always wanted to write a humor column. Well, at least since I had the idea a few days ago. But since then, I've always wanted to.

I think it would be the perfect thing to keep people looking forward to our newsletter and to get them to actually read it instead of just throwing it in the trash. Of course, I suppose there is the slight possibility that some people might not want their attorney to be a stand-up comic. (Which is exactly why I would write it sitting down.)


The kids have no school tomorrow because it was built into the calendar as a make-up snow day. Since we have had zero, count 'em, zero, snow days this year, they just get the day off. They will be off again in two weeks as well unless we have a freak snowstorm between now and then. I find these days-off-for-no-real-reason helpful. I have been entertaining frequent thoughts of homeschooling lately, but whenever my kids have the day off from school, it works wonders toward shaking me back to my senses.


We are finally going to do Christmas with the in-laws in a few days. My father-in-law had surgery back in October and has been unable to travel since then. We visited them in October and November but spent Christmas in Georgia and have not been able to make it down to see them until now. I feel terrible that it is March, and we have not managed to travel the four hours to do Christmas with them yet, but on the other hand . . . Christmas in March . . . yay! Right?


Back before Christmas my mother-in-law was trying to figure out what to get the kids for Christmas. I made a few suggestions, and we decided it would be easiest for me to order a couple specific items myself and just have her reimburse me. Well, I have had these items "hidden" in the laundry room for almost three months now. Really, my laundry room is the perfect place to hide a gift: No one besides me puts it to use, there is always plenty of dirty laundry to hide things behind, and if by some miraculous chance I go to the bottom of the dirty laundry baskets, there's still the Mt. Everest of socks to block a person's view.

Unfortunately, Joshua came across his gift about a month ago when he was looking for socks. He guessed that it was for him since it was something he had specifically asked for, but he was seriously disappointed that he had found it so it will no longer be a surprise when he opens it someday. I have since moved it to three different locations so he won't keep seeing it (he says he's trying to forget what it is), but he keeps finding it again! A couple of weeks ago, he said, "Mom you're the worst present hider in the history of the world."

Check out Conversion Diary for more Quick Takes.