Who needs cable with these kids for entertainment?

I was about to get in bed but thought I'd better write down some of the things the kids (mostly Joshua) have said lately that have kept me rolling. And, what better place to write it than here for all of you to share?

On Wednesday Ethan got his first chance to spend the night at Gaga's house by himself. (Well, without his brother or sister . . . obviously, I don't mean literally by himself. Even I wouldn't let him do that until he's at least 5 or 6!) Joshua, mind you, has done this countless times, but this was Ethan's first time. I let him go partly because he's been wanting a turn, partly because he doesn't like going to small group (he loves social gatherings about as much as his daddy does), and partly because Joshua needs to learn to deal with being the one NOT getting to do something on occassion. (Josh has never been one to see the glass half full when someone else has a glass that might possibly, conceivably, potentially EVER contain more than his.) Joshua was quite convinced that this turn of events was utterly unfair and that he "never" gets to go to Gaga's house. He talked ALL night about what he thought Ethan was probably doing and what time Ethan would be going to bed and whether Ethan might be getting to swim, and whether Gaga was buying Ethan a pony and making him her sole heir, etc, etc. So, Thursday morning we woke up (with him in our bed since spending the night with mom is always the consolation prize for not getting to spend the night with Gaga), and I asked him what he wanted for breakfast -
Joshua: "I wish we had dino egg oatmeal."
Me: "I know, but we don't."
J: "I bet Ethan is getting dino egg oatmeal at Gaga's house."
Me: "He might be."
J: "It's not fair. We NEVER have dino egg."
Me: "That's not true. We buy it sometimes."
J: "But Ethan gets to have it today!"
Me: "Well, would you like to sit here and be sad that we don't have dino egg oatmeal or go find something else to eat?:
J: "Find something else . . . but, I can SEE Ethan eating the dino eggs in my head!"
Who says only girls can be drama queens?

When I picked Ethan up on Thursday, I told him that I was so glad to see him because I missed him. He said, "I missed you, too, mommmy." I replied, "You did?" He amended his answer and said, "Actually, I didn't." Of course, you didn't. My name becomes "Mommy who?" when my kids catch a glimpse of Gaga's house!

Yesterday, I took Joshua by the Tae Kwan Do academy because I'm thinking about signing him (and maybe Ethan) up for some lessons. As we were leaving, I was explaining to Josh how the whole belt system works . . . you know, passing on my expertise in the area of martial arts. So, I explained that you start with white and then as you get better, you take tests, and if you pass you move on to yellow, green, etc. Joshua said, "So, if you pass the test, the belt changes color?!"

He is also so imaginative. This morning he took the box from my new crock pot (my old one died a slow and painful death) and stuck it on the handle of my mop and announced it was a "boxsicle." He then told me not to throw away the box because he was going to make something out of it. I left him in the kitchen with the box and the mop, and a few minutes later, I heard, "Mom, help, I'm stuck!" I hollered that I would be there in a minute (because you know, I'm on my way to a mom of the year award for how safe I keep my kids and all), and he said, "My head is on the dirty mop." I entered the kitchen and found him in the crockpot box (no, it was not very large - it's not like it was a big screen tv or something) with the broom stuck through it and his head pressed against the sponge part of the mop, with the handle part sticking through the bottom of the box, which was turned on its side. (Are you getting this? There will be a quiz at the end.) He had taken paper cups and glued them to the bottom of the box (which was on the side now), and somehow this was supposed to be . . . are you ready? . . . a cat. I can't even summon up all of my creative brain cells (all 1 1/2 of them, that is) and imagine how that could possibly be a cat, but of course, Joshua saw it.

And, lastly, since Lauren is never one to be left out of anything about things kids say . . . we were standing in the checkout line at Barnes & Noble today waiting to pay for a book. It was for me (thank you, MOPS, for the gift card), and Lauren said - in her loudest of voices - "I want a book, too." I said, "No, you don't need a book right now." She announces - still in her loudest voice - "Because books are for the potty!" Thanks, kid.