7 Quick Takes Friday

This week's 7 Quick Takes (Hosted by Conversion Diary):

1.

Finally had my surgery on Tuesday. Several people have asked me a) was it successful or b) what exactly did he do? The answer to both questions is the same: I have no idea.

I don't know what brilliant surgeon came up with the idea of talking to patients while they're in the recovery room having awakened - and I use that term loosely - from anesthesia about 90 seconds prior. I guess if you're the doctor, and you're trying to get out of there quickly, this is a great way of limiting the number of annoying questions you'll be asked.

However, if you're the patient, this is completely pointless. I have a vague recollection of Dr. B coming to the recovery area, and in between my violent convulsions (I shake a lot when I wake up) and clawing off of my skin (I itch a lot when I wake up), he said something to me. Yep, something.

The good news is I have a follow up with him in about a week, so I will wait and ask my annoying questions then.

2.

I had some very odd reaction when they started my i.v. before surgery. The only thing in it was lactated ringers . . . which my research reveals does not involve nursing lemurs at all . . . so it should have been pretty much impossible to have a reaction to that. However, being the medical freakshow that I strive to be, I started having difficulty breathing - my chest felt like someone was sitting on it - and dissolved into seismic coughing fits. They gave me some oxygen and some sedatives and gave me their expert medical opinions that, yes, it was very odd indeed.

The medicine did not stop my wheezing and coughing, but it did make me not care whether I stopped breathing on the operating table. No problemo, dude.

While they were checking me out, my mom apparently felt it important to convince them that I wasn't crazy or faking. (I guess they get a lot of that?) So, she pointed out that my neck was turning red and had a hive on it.

A hive?

Yes, she said, there's only one. Now, I'm no doctor, but I've never heard of breaking out in a hive. She kept mentioning it to everyone with a hair net on, so finally I got her to hand me a mirror so I could see it. I swear it was the size of gnat. In fact, I'm pretty sure it wasn't a hive at all but a gnat bite.

It was apparently unrelated to my respiratory failure brought on by the lemur milk in my i.v.

3.

So, enough about my surgery. I'm doing well now and hoping to advance light years in my recovery today because I have two soccer games and two weddings to attend tomorrow.

4.

Lauren was playing in the living room yesterday, and a fly buzzed by her head. She jumped up hysterically crying, "Mommy, there's a bee in here!" I assured her it was only a fly; I had already noticed it. She said, "Mommy, it's not a fly. I heard it saying, 'sting! sting!'"

Can't argue with that.

5.

I don't think I ever posted pictures from the Renaissance Festival at Joshua's school last month. His favorite part was getting a bandage for a fake jousting wound. How did I never realize how a dress-up collection could be enhanced by a piece of gauze and a red marker? Oh, that's right, I'm not morbid!




Lauren looked cute with her princess braid, which she LOVED:

6.

While I'm posting pictures, here are a few from Josh's class Easter party. They always sing/sign a few songs for the parents, and I am so impressed with how much sign language my son knows. He is less than impressed by having his picture taken so many times.

7.

Did I already write about taking the kids to see a movie a couple of weeks ago? I don't think I did.

We went to see Monsters v. Aliens - which was a great movie, by the way - and, of course, the kids had to go to the bathroom afterward.

While standing behind Josh as he went to relieve himself, I noticed that the button and zipper on his pants were in the back. "Josh," I inquired, "Have you had your pants on backward all day?" "Huh?" He had somehow managed to just pull them up that morning rather than actually opening them. What got me was that I knew he had already gone to the bathroom twice at church that morning and NEVER NOTICED!

So, then I come out of the stall and take a look at Ethan's face. My mom had snuck some hot tamales into the theater, and of course, we let them have popcorn. Ethan had tiny little popcorn pieces all over his face. Why didn't they fall off, you may wonder? Because 80% of his face was red and sticky from the hot tamales, so the popcorn was stuck to it like glue.

We looked like quite the superhero sight coming out of that theater . . . Backward Pants Boy and his sidekick Sticky Popcorn Face.