No, he's not an Iraq war vet

With Joshua gone to Kentucky for a few days, Lauren and Ethan have been sharing a room to keep each other company. These two being who they are, they don't tend to lie down and fall asleep like they are told. When Josh is home, he and Ethan don't cut up because Joshua does. not. break. rules. Ethan and Lauren, however, have no such compunction.

So, last night after sending them back upstairs twice, I told them, "Do not come downstairs again unless there is an emergency. If you come down again, you will get in big trouble." Five minutes later I see Ethan's head poking around the corner.

"Mommy?" he says as he rounds the corner with his hands bound together by a pair of Spiderman underwear that are cutting off his circulation like a pair of torturous handcuffs.

"Ethan, what did you do? Why were you twisting underwear on your arms?"
"I couldn't sleep because Lauren was talking."
"Well then, that makes perfect sense."

I was just thankful he had the sense to figure out that it was indeed an emergency and not be too frightened by my threat of trouble to come down and show me. It took me a full minute to get them off, and his hands were turning purple by the time I finally did.

Underwear. Seriously. I don't let them sleep with things that have strings on them because I worry about them cutting off circulation to their fingers in just such a fashion. But, I never thought to ban underwear.

I can just see us explaining that to people.

"How did your son lose his hands? Lawnmower accident? Shark attack? Iraqi insurgents?"

"Spiderman underwear."