My apologies to Arsenio Hall, but there are a few things on my mind lately that I just can't quite understand. Maybe you can help me.
1. On the Today show, whenever they go to commercial, they always say that such and such is coming up after the break, "But first, This is Today on NBC." What does that mean? I do not get it. I mean, it would make sense if they said "Taylor Swift after the break, but first here are some commercials" or "but first, a word from our sponsors." However, "But first, this is the name of our show" I don't get. This is one reason I watch Good Morning America instead. That and I hate the sound of Ann Curry's voice. She always sounds so serious and pensive. "So you found the summer's hottest new designer swimsuits for 1/220th of the cost," she says in her deep, I'm-reporting-something-very-intense voice, "What must that be like for you emotionally?" Um, Ann, if you're reporting fluff, be light-hearted, and don't use the same tone you used to interview parents whose six children just died in a freak pop rocks accident.
However, even if Ann Curry was fired (not that I'm wishing that on her), I don't think I could bear hearing them say, "But first, this is Today on NBC." Can't take it.
2. The warm weather has been teasing us off and on for about a month now. And in northern PA, warm weather means road work. I can understand this; there is usually a limited number of months to get it done before the snow and ice return. But, every. single. day of spring and summer? This has been going on since we moved here, and I just don't get it. We only have like three roads! How can they all need work done on them every sunny day of every year? Hmmm.
3. I was watching Dr. Oz this morning while putting on my makeup because our cable company couldn't get its contracting act together at the beginning of the year, and I no longer get "Live with Kelly." This makes me sad because, while Dr. Oz can manage to fill an hour every day telling you THE most important five changes you can make to your diet (and not the same ones he told you yesterday), he's just not that funny and entertaining. And if there's anything I require in the morning, and in life in general to be honest, it's that someone at least amuse and entertain me. Sooooo, this morning Dr. Oz made this statement: "Blood Pressure is the number one cause of aging in America."
I suppose that's technically true, because if I had no blood pressure, I would die and therefore not continue to age. However, the segment was on the dangers of high blood pressure, so I really don't think that's what he meant. And so I say simply . . . hmmm?
4. "That person really knows how to pray!" I've heard this countless times during my time in the pentecostal world. I just don't quite get what it means. It appears to have a correlation to the pray-er's volume, intensity, and number of times he/she can say "My God" during the prayer. I honestly don't mean this one to be disrespectful or sacrilegious (sacre bleu!), but I don't get it. And so I say again . . . Hmmm.
There are many, many more, but I feel the need for sleep. Unlike my husband who complains every morning that he is exhausted but refuses to go to bed before midnight. Hmmm.