Monday, May 24, 2010

Let's Go, Beck! Let's Go, Beck!

(This title is meant to be chanted while clapping in rhythm with the words.)

I've decided that what I need (in addition to a maid, a personal chef, and some new white capris) is a cheering section. Yep, that's definitely what's missing in my life.

As I was watching a professional baseball game Saturday night, it occurred to me that it must be way easier, not to mention much more fun, to find the motivation to do one's job when there are thousands of people cheering you on.

Because, let's be honest, baseball is their job. They are not just out there to have fun; they are being paid obscene amounts of money to catch the ball and to make a hit. It's their job.

Yet, we chant and clap and stomp our feet - and pay a person in a mascot uniform to get people even more hyped up - all to encourage and support the millionaires on the field as they do their jobs.

Don't misunderstand me. I love baseball. I love the watching and the cheering and the sights and sounds and smells of it all. I've even taught my boys some serious trash-talking.

It's not that I think we should stop cheering for the professional athletes; au contraire, I think they are seriously on to something.

Imagine if we had cheering fans encouraging to the rest of us at our jobs:

Woo-hoo!! Go, Beck!! Come on, put that laundry away. Awesome job!!

Go Beck, go Beck, go Beck, draft that Motion to Compel. Aw, nice try anyway. You'll get it done next time!

Clap, clap, clap, clap, clap!

Not only that, but imagine the mascot possibilities. A giant spatula. An ironing board. Ooh-ooh, how about one of those lovesick brooms from the Swiffer commercials. And those are just for my at-home job. At work, I could use a giant talking gavel or even a file folder since that's what I spend most of my day working on.

(If you'd like to apply for the position of Beck's personal mascot, leave me a comment telling me which costume you'd prefer. This is a non-paid position, and I do not discriminate on the basis of race, creed, or religious affiliation; however, I do discriminate on the basis of personality, sense of humor, sports affiliation, dress, intelligence, and hairstyle.)

Yes, I definitely think professional athletes are on to something. Oh, and let's not forget, they charge people money to do this.

However, because I am abounding in generosity, I will offer free admission to my cheering section for the first dozen fans. I'll let you know when David's done installing the bleachers in my dining room.

Heck, maybe you should come cheer him on.


Lenae said...

I think this post has ousted the GPS post as my absolute favorite of yours (thus far). Who knows how long I will go washing dishes while imagining a giant sponge cheering me on in the corner of the kitchen, and the like. All thanks to you :)

CDD in CA said...

Ha ha. My input is coming to you via email. Your blog is too funny!