No, he's not an Iraq war vet

With Joshua gone to Kentucky for a few days, Lauren and Ethan have been sharing a room to keep each other company. These two being who they are, they don't tend to lie down and fall asleep like they are told. When Josh is home, he and Ethan don't cut up because Joshua does. not. break. rules. Ethan and Lauren, however, have no such compunction.

So, last night after sending them back upstairs twice, I told them, "Do not come downstairs again unless there is an emergency. If you come down again, you will get in big trouble." Five minutes later I see Ethan's head poking around the corner.

"Mommy?" he says as he rounds the corner with his hands bound together by a pair of Spiderman underwear that are cutting off his circulation like a pair of torturous handcuffs.

"Ethan, what did you do? Why were you twisting underwear on your arms?"
"I couldn't sleep because Lauren was talking."
"Well then, that makes perfect sense."

I was just thankful he had the sense to figure out that it was indeed an emergency and not be too frightened by my threat of trouble to come down and show me. It took me a full minute to get them off, and his hands were turning purple by the time I finally did.

Underwear. Seriously. I don't let them sleep with things that have strings on them because I worry about them cutting off circulation to their fingers in just such a fashion. But, I never thought to ban underwear.

I can just see us explaining that to people.

"How did your son lose his hands? Lawnmower accident? Shark attack? Iraqi insurgents?"

"Spiderman underwear."

7 Quick Takes Friday

1.

Yes, I know it's Thursday, but I'm taking advantage of my brother and his PC laptop being here right now, so here are my early 7 Quick Takes.

Sigh . . . I'm in love with the control key.

2.

We've said for years that Joshua is the most likely of our children to follow in his parents' footsteps and become a lawyer. He proved it again during a conversation we had on the way home from school yesterday.

We were talking about Africa and what type of animals one might see on a safari. He asked me if there were alligators there. I said, "I think so, yes."

Josh's reply: "Mom, you said, 'I think so.' and 'Yes.' Which one is the answer?"

The kid's a master at cross already.

3.

I passed two police cars on the highway today, and through some freak chance, I happened not to be speeding. Am I the only one who feels proud of myself when this happens? Despite the fact that I am usually speeding, I'm pretty sure that when I'm not, the police officer is thinking to himself, "Wow, that hot young chick is the best driver I've seen in a long time."

I realize I'm quite delusional on many levels here.

4.

Speaking of ridiculous thoughts, a friend of mine was having an MRI the other day, and that caused me to think back on all the MRI's I've had.

I always have this horrible fear right before going into the machine that perhaps I've forgotten about some metal on myself. "What if I have on a necklace I forgot about?" "Do I have steel rods in my leg?" "Wait! What if I had brain surgery and had metal plates put in my head, and because of the whole brain surgery thing, I just forgot about it?!" It's quite panic-inducing.

5.

Boy, these really are random today aren't they?

6.

So, I took all four kids (my 3 plus my niece) out for a walk this afternoon on the street where I grew up. (Remember we're staying with my parents, and they live in the house we moved into when I was 5.)

My parents' house is in the woods, and when I was growing up this area was pretty sparsely populated. It was not uncommon to walk the entire 2 mile length of our street without seeing a single car.

Not so anymore. There are now several factories out here, and the traffic has increased twenty-fold. During our 1 mile walk today (1/2 mile each way), we were passed by at least two dozen cars, all traveling about 65 mph on this 45 mph road. I had told the kids we would go all the way to the railroad track, which is about a mile from the house, but I had to reneg and turn back sooner for fear that we would not all make it back alive if we continued.

It was not the desolate street of my youth, and even I, supermom extraordinaire, could not safely walk with a 3, 4, 6, and 7 year old an entire two miles.

7.

So, my point about the walk.

It may not be desolate anymore, but it's still in the woods. (This morning a coyote crossed the driveway in front of me when I left for Bible study, and we frequently see feral hogs, wild turkeys, and the like.)

While walking back tothe house this afternoon, we came across an almost completely decomposed animal of some sort. Not until we got about 10 feet farther and found the jawbone with teeth intact were we certain what kind of animal it was. It was a wild dog.

Joshua has show-and-tell tomorrow.

Do you see where this is going? Yes, I picked it up with a stick (didn't touch it) and brought it home and put it in two layers of gallon-sized zipoloc.

Will the teacher think, "Wow, what a great mom that boy has for being willing to let him keep such a cool piece of nature?" or "Wow, what a freak that boy has for a mom?" I can't decide the answer to this myself.

Thankful Monday

Yes, I know it's the wrong day for my thankful list, but wouldn't you be thankful if your 4 year old wasn't harmed when he decided to do this?!